Because I can

Departure

2011-12-28T03:33:00.000-08:00

Much has happened over the year. Though I can't say it was all good for 2011. But then again, I can't say it was all bad either.

It's never easy to say goodbye. It's especially no fun when you have to do it 4 times. Even if they're just departing to the other side of town; to another state; to another country; or even to a beautiful place up above.

Goodbye 2011. May this be the last goodbye I make anytime soon.

Mum

2011-07-26T05:36:00.001-07:00

Got this in an email from my mum yesterday.

This one got me smiling

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term test.

The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,' worth
70 points or none at all.

One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.

2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.

3.) It is always the right temperature.

4.) It is inexpensive.

5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.

6.) It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before
the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote..

7.) It comes in 2 attractive re-usable containers.

He got an A+

Melbourne Uni Stalker Space

2011-06-21T01:15:00.000-07:00

Butterfly Insights

2011-05-28T07:56:00.000-07:00

by: Joie Lake, Source Unknown

A marvelous lesson appeared for me just now as I was exiting thru the garage, to come to this little playplace they call an office.

As I opened the garage door, I startled a large moth, which, upon spreading it's wings, displayed a bright red "tail" hidden by the motley brown wings, more a "butterfly" than a moth.

It flew immediately to its perceived escape, the circle-topped window where it frantically tried to exit thru the invisible wall of closed glass.

I raised the third-car garage door in hopes of aiding it's escape. That caused it to fly higher and higher and become entangled in a spider web. Fearful that it would remain entangled in the web, I selected a long-handled broom to assist him escaping the tangled threads.

At this, he returned to furiously pumping his wings and banging into the glass, which was, in his perspective, the pathway of escape, but remained his cage.

By simply turning his focus to one side, he would have easily exited his prison. Rather, due to his intent on one direction, he remained confined, captive.

Happy Mother's Day, 2011

2011-05-08T03:15:00.001-07:00

To my doting mother,

Thank you for all the care and attention. 21 years and counting. It's comforting to know I have such a reliable parent to fall back on.

I hope you enjoy the surprise that your boys have prepared.

Red Roses and Carnations for this very day

Also, I got Mel to write up my message for you.

I'm just glad that his face is nothing like his handwriting.

Happy Mother's Day.

Bright & Lake Catani

2011-04-30T20:20:00.001-07:00

I haven't been on a camping trip in years. Memories from the last camping trip I had still remains fresh though. It was the Prefect camp back in 2004 during Form 2. Back then, we slept in classrooms after rearranging the tables and chairs with ceiling fans mirrored in front of us as we slept on the cold concrete floor. My seniors said that we all had to sleep with our tops off that night or risk getting our nipples twisted in our sleep. We did as we were instructed, and ended up talking about our feelings that night.

Good times.

__________

This camping trip to Bright and Lake Catani is pretty much the most extreme camping experience I've ever had. Sleeping in self-pitched tents at a daunting -5 degrees. A bed of white grass could be seen in the morning as a result of the frozen dew. Catching crabs! Cooking in the great outdoors in absolute darkness.

Some of the best images in my head will be the clusters of stars in the night. Never will you ever see that many bright and glistening stars in the busy and bright city. Not to mention the breathtaking views of the area.

The Horn

Just as the sunlight hits the rocks

The emergence of the great orb

The lake enveloped by the fog

__________

Lake Catani

The Eurobin Falls

Maple Leaves

The world always look brighter from behind a smile.

21 years of age.

2011-04-02T04:19:00.000-07:00

Simply Sublime.

Article for the newsletter.

2011-01-05T20:13:00.000-08:00

What a night it was.

I recall the footsteps I took, as I walked past that threshold into The Garage. What a sight it was. A throng of smartly dressed men filled the vicinity. Some were wearing their best outfits that day, while others were only concerned about wearing their Poker face.

After registration, I was flocked into Table 10 where I had to go up against many formidable adversaries. Tremendous pressure was hovering around me as I was one of the representatives for IESS and the last I played was close to 6 months.

The match began; A few minutes in, already I found myself in a one on one predicament with the bloke beside me. I was racing through every possible scenario as the dealer turned over The River. I went all in, the cards were laid down. Fortunately, I came out on top. Having eliminated the first player, all eyes were on me as I scooped up my winnings.

Ho yeah.

As the game unfolded, the nippy cold of Winter got to me. My leather jacket felt like a white cotton Tee. I was distracted and was more concerned on warming myself up than continuing the game. The lead that I initially had was now a small miserable pile. Though, I noticed that I wasn’t the only one. One by one, players were eliminated and had left the table. Before I knew it, I was in the Final Four.

By then, the cold was unbearable. All I could focus on was keeping my fingers warm. The sales of raffle tickets that were going on didn’t help my cause either (nonetheless you guys did a great job!). Finally, the dealer called for a break and I was nothing but but a blob of relief. When I returned to the table, I could only sigh as I inspected the huge piles of chips everyone else had.

____________________

The story of the tortoise and the hare is a good one, but this story of the Final Four is epic. Having a large pile of chips is like riding on a mighty white horse, but if one is not careful; one might fall off and break a limb. I took advantage of their self-induced confidence and with a little help from Lady Luck; I took them out one by one. It was down to the Final Two and I was feeling confident. Nothing could break my stride; Nothing could halt my momentum; Nothing could snatch victory away. Just then, the opponent had offered a dark (playing without looking at the cards), all-in situation. As I was now the one on that horse, I agreed but came to regret my decision when I drew a 5 and a Jack whilst he had a Queen and an Ace. Fortunately, Lady Luck hadn’t left my side just yet. I came out on top with a Five full of Jacks. Victory! I was on cloud nine and a proud sense of accomplishment was reached. I could only muffle a chuckle as he started whining emphatically.

As one of the winners of the tables, I had moved on to the final stage. I was the first runner-up of that table. But that is a whole new story altogether.

At the end of the night, I had done my society proud; I had done my friends proud; I had done myself proud. Poker Night for me was a monumental success and it is already on my ‘To-do’ list in 2011.

Mum mum mum mah~♪

My biggest blessing.

2010-12-02T09:52:00.000-08:00

Two days ago, I was part of a congregation of friends which happened at Station 1 in Klang. It was a night of laughter and reminisce, not to mention much awaited catching up. As the night went on, we bumped into an old friend; One who was well known among us back in the day; One whom we exchanged many handshakes and pats on the back with; One whom I was very much close to once upon a time. I held his hand and gave him a warm hug, trying to assert the same buddy buddy relationship we had back then now. He gave us his number and scurried off in his silver Kembara.

At the end of the night, I learnt of something very disheartening. As the waiter brought our bill over, I could hear the nervous whispers among them. To my dismay, my old friend was part of a dine and dash scheme. I was truly disappointed by his actions. Attempting to be the better man I offered to pay for his tab which totaled RM50, on top of the unforeseen selfishness of a certain someone within the congregation. I had used approximately RM80 that night.

Doing the right thing has always given me great satisfaction, but somehow this time it didn't. It was foolish. I had regretted trying to be a hero in a situation and this error was my responsibility alone to bear.

On our way home just the two of us, you informed me of the bad decision I made. That I could have and should have just walked away from. That I had no obligation nor bore the responsibility to act the way I did. I lamented my actions even further.

But you didn't stop there.

You offered to split half of the bill with me. You said it wouldn't be fair if I had to pay it all on my own. You did so without a moment's hesitation which mattered so much more as you were not born with a silver spoon.

Though our clique may not know of your deed, in my own way I'd like the readers to know what you have done for me. This is only one of the many reminders why we are the best of friends. That you are one of my closest friends, and the most genuine one at that. Though it doesn't change the fact what I did was foolish and thoughtless, you shared my burden when no one else did or would've.

Should you read this one day, I'd like you to know that in my eyes, you are my hero. I have never been prouder to have you as a friend than at that moment.

Thank you for being my best friend. Thank you for being my biggest blessing from God.

Thank you for everything, Ng Seng Aun.

iPhone

2010-11-24T22:34:00.000-08:00

iPhones are awesome. I guess that's pretty obvious but say we make a comparison.

Say with a Blackberry.

Bigger touch-pads, bigger buttons, bigger screens. Bigger everything.

Even bigger laughs.

Like a G6

2010-11-22T02:55:00.000-08:00

Of all the times the statement 'Home Sweet Home' have been reiterated, none of it really mattered compared to this time.

Home in 3 days. I can hardly wait.

I can hardly wait to see my family and how much has changed since.
I can hardly wait to do my secret handshake with Jolene.
I can hardly wait to breathe the dusty, humid air of Malaysia.
I can hardly wait to taste original home cooked food.
I can hardly wait to pick up where I left off with my comrades.

Then again, I'm going to miss Melbourne.

I'm going to miss the fast internet speed.
I'm going to miss playing Keith Urban's 'Only You Can Love Me This Way' on the guitar.
I'm going to miss running up and down the pitch from Ultimate.
I'm going to miss FIFA 11 on my XBox 360.
I'm going to miss the friends I've made here.
I'm going to miss the company of my brother.
I'm going to miss the emancipation.

I'm also going to miss Melbourne Uni and the antics that comes with it.

Now I'm feeling so fly,

2010-11-21T14:33:00.000-08:00

hello hello

Big Mac Chant

2010-11-16T05:59:00.001-08:00

Big Mac Chant

I forgot I was this articulate once upon a time.

Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles,
onions on a sesame seed bun

I could totally still do this.

Not even Chuck Norris.

2010-11-09T20:54:00.000-08:00

Australia.

A place where indigenous rights is fought,

but not an indigineous individual in sight.

A place where dreams come really do come true,

If you wanna be Santa Lee/Tommy Claus

A place where one spin gets you the grand prize.

Too bad none of us drinks this stuff.

Australia, a place for auspicious oppurtunes.

If 3 days of consecutive exams don't kill you, nothing will.

Not even Chuck Norris.

Blondes

2010-08-21T00:47:00.001-07:00

Life is getting tough.

Time Management. A term not to be trifled with. Allocating time between completing assignments, working at a restaurant and fulfilling responsibilities for the club. It's stressful enough just saying it aloud.

Now I fathom the term 'juggling time'.

________________________________________

Life is getting really tough.

Being bossed around sucks. And days are starting to suck because I get bossed around at every waking moment.

At home, I get nagged;

"Do the dishes", "Throw the trash", "Wash your socks. They smell bad.", "Oh my god, not at this time of the night. It's 4am. Pick it up."

At work,
They somehow manage to allocate duty times on to my unavailable time slots. And somehow I'm at fault. So, I have to find a replacement. Not to mention the bias attitude of the supervisor who seems to think new employees tend to goof off. He should be more weary of the suck-up bitch hanging around his belt.

At uni,
Fulfilling the responsibilities of the club. Designing posters, writing up descriptions for events, and sending out invitations.

I know what needs to be done. I can't complain. After all, I signed up for this. Only thing I'm not satisfied about is getting shit for trying so hard. I just feel destroyed.

Stress is getting the better of me. More so than, ever. Usually, I'd laugh this off.

I need a stress reliever. I need it now.

Godspeed

2010-06-27T19:29:00.000-07:00

After an hour of staring at the screen, I didn't know how to start this post.

Maybe it was me subconsciously being tenacious. It pains me to know that I won't be there to see you off to South Africa; to tell you to stay hale and hearty; to tell you to always smile when meeting new people; to give you one last hug that was long overdue.

Maybe I just didn't know where to begin.

_____________

Our friendship is like wine. The longer it ages, the more satisfying it is. 8 years ago, I would've never guessed we would be this close. Nonetheless, I'm proud to say I now know you better than anyone and hope that this statement stands for the years to come.

Emily's place for Easters

Mr. Sundram's Biology class.

Kris's Farewell Dinner

Nicholas' 19th Birthday

_________________

I wonder how Africa will change you.

One can only fend off so many animals.

In the end, I hope to see that same Milf I knew 8 years ago.

Being the FUN of the party

That caring and chivalrous persona

The doting and wise brother

And just being plain old you.

At times, I just can't help but smile in amazement

as to how some things just fall into place. (Picture taken in Australia)

and how far we've come since then.

I'm gonna miss the kids. Don't forget to feed them well.

Mimi's first appearance

Warm and fuzzy.

______________

All sarcasm aside, I can't wait till we finally hang out again.

like running the Centro Marathon Open again.

and indulging in some good ol' food.

___________

Famous Last Words

"Kak, kak, kak. Ais Kosong"

"Annabel bro, Bra? bro, Caroline bro, Delicious bro, Evangeline bro,
Fiona bro, Ginnie bro, Helena bro, Iona bro, Jacky bro."

"You all damn bad la. Just drown it"

"Cannot snap one ah"

Bon Voyage my comrade. Godspeed

Donald Chew Wei Xiang, PWNED

2010-06-20T21:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Donald,

I am sorry.

No, not really. But I am sorry that you called me Moley.

Ho ho ho.

________________________

My Favorite Quote

Tiu, tou mou 'Ink' geh?

________________________

For those who did not get a good look,

Zephon, the appalling superhero.

And a little reminder who your daddy is.

After all that have been said and done, I'm glad to see you've learnt your lesson.

P.S. I love you Donald.

Scribbles

2010-05-23T08:01:00.000-07:00

The desks of today are pretty; In pretty bad shape. Vandalized in so many ways, be it cuts or scratches or the ever popular scribbles. Nonetheless, this is only applicable to the public desks in the libraries. The scribbles I've seen thus far have been of utter nonsense. Zero content; Drawings of obscene images; Words of profanity constantly repeated as though a point is needed to make across. It just makes you wonder what kind of people are out there.
But I guess that's Malaysian ethics for you.

Recently, I noticed a difference; a refreshing difference in both grammar and content. A more whimsical form of graffiti.

Things that you can relate to,

expand your lexicon,

from substantial content

And being absolutely redundant at the same time

And yet, puts a smile on your face every single time.

Mother's Day Classic

2010-05-08T05:44:00.000-07:00

As aforementioned in the previous post, my brother will be running the Mother's Day Classic as punishment for losing the challenge.

True to that milf.

But to turn down the chance of running a marathon? In a whole new frontier moreover.

Not a chance.

____________

Mother's Day Classic.

The thrill of running on the open roads, with hordes of people pacing left and right. The cheers of the passersby and the 'high' one obtains from the endorphins at the end of the course. These are reasons why I have enjoyed running in marathons. The passion and inspiration I obtain every time I put my sneakers on and set forth an uplifting path.

But as it turns out, the run today held much more meaning.

I found out recently of the death of a person. A person who is the mother of 4 children; one of which is a once close friend. I can only imagine the vehemence of agony that she is going through. Suffering the loss of a parental figure, one more time. Taken from grace by the terminal called cancer. Although we are no longer close, I still hope and pray for her well being. To be the strong woman we all know and love and continue strutting forward to live a life her mother would be immensely proud of.

Life is too short. Indeed it is.

____________

The Starting Line

The Mother's Day Classic is a run to raise funds for the research of Breast Cancer. Before today, I have only participated in competitive marathons; Ones that flourish that brings out the worst behavior in others. People desperately trying to get a spot at the starting line; Individuals who wouldn't bother slowing down to help another in need. Yes, these were the attitudes I know and am oh-so familiar with. But it was a different scenario today. A much more positive one.

The Tribute Wall.

People of all sorts were present today. Huge groups of families all running for the noble cause. Universities sending volunteers to help out and groups to participate even. And there was one particular individual in a monkey suit running to help serve the cause. There was definitely a refreshing aura to all this, but I was mesmerized by something far greater.
I caught up to two toddlers, a boy and a girl probably in the ages of 4 to 5. The boy was zipping through the other runners, an energetic young lad whilst the girl was already out of breath as she tries to continue her pace. Her father, who was right behind her gently pushing her from behind, supporting and yelling out words of encouragement.

Come on girl. Keep going. Do this for mummy.

My heart melted. 'It must be hard for them', a phrase we so often use but probably don't even know the half of it. And yet there are so many others who are just like her. One other tag that touched me was,

To the mother I've never met, ********
Happy Mother's Day

Today is a significant day for me. One that I shall not forget, ever. An eye-opener to the misfortune of others. I shall do whatever I possibly can to help them. I will be a good Samaritan and hopefully a wealthy philanthropist in the future. One that you can be proud to acknowledge as your son, mum. God knows how much you deserve this day and that I can only do so much 80 000 km away.

Happy Mother's Day.

Little Miss Red

2010-04-21T18:04:00.000-07:00

Dear Blog,

Earlier today I was on Elizabeth Street waiting for the tram. Bored, I pulled out my phone to pass the time. The free games that would normally fill the time seemed less than satisfactory. I started reading through my messages etc. and guess what I stumbled upon.

Little Miss Red, Cheeks.

Having no memory of this picture ever being taken, I tried to recollect when this could have happened while being utterly seduced by those lips.

When it finally hit me, I realize getting wasted has its own pros.

P.S. Thank you Emily Chan.

Winner Winner, Turkey Dinner

2010-04-15T08:47:00.000-07:00

Long Hiatus. Too long in fact.

To bring you up to date in a word ,
Melbourne.
Bachelor of Civil Engineering.
4 years.
Lives with brother and one housemate.
Still awesome. 'I know right?'

______________________

Earlier today, I had an 'Iron Chef' competition with my brother.

Theme ingredient : Turkey leg
Judge : Su Zhen (Housemate)
Time limit : till 7.30 p.m. today
Punishment : Run the Mother's Day Classic Marathon.

Since Su Zhen is awesome that way, she was biased and let me win.

Nonetheless,

This still looks and tasted impressive. To me.

I admit, it wasn't thoroughly cooked. But I guess I'm not 'the one who got the boot'.

The Unsung Hero

2009-09-07T05:53:00.000-07:00

The celebrated heroes of today like the policeman, the firefighter or the astronaut are getting recognition all over for their hard work and commendable input that they do for their country. But some of us fail to appreciate the diligent and admirable duties of the lesser heroes. Those who do not ask for much in return, and yet they pour out their hearts and souls for the good of mankind.

This is the story of the unsung hero. The story of the security guard.

"Leave me alone, I still have 10 minutes on my break"

I still recall the halcyon days.

The days of school and teachers. The days where you were not permitted to enter the school compounds for arriving late. The days where you were not allowed to leave the school grounds early either. The day where I first spotted a security guard snoozing on the job.

As I received my negatively imprinted impression of the security guard, I relayed it to my fellow peers who then passed it on to the teacher at the time. The teacher, who also spoke in a sardonic tone was thrilled at what she heard.

Puan Siti Hajar, the moral teacher.
The unforgettable moments we spent together as a class still seem so vivid. Like how she introduced the word 'Service'.
This was also one occasion that I took to my liking.

She explained,

Do you think it's funny? That a security guard was sleeping on the job? Do you think it's easy to do what he does everyday?

He has to stay awake for hours, under the scorching hot sun, bearing it with nothing but the thick and heavy clothes on his back and a small booth for shade.

But before you jump into any conclusions, imagine being paid RM1 per hour and yet being expected to lay down your life in the line of duty. This is the plight of underpaid security guards who have to work long hours to earn a subsistence wage.

**********

Besides the usual nap time, the second thing that Malaysians associate security guards of today with is 'The Wave'

The Wave,

A simple yet delicate maneuver that is done to/by security guards everywhere. Only with the right timing and angle/line of sight will the security guards reciprocate. I can assure you that it can be done to any security guard, anywhere and at any time. I've done it once while driving in the car, making a turn at a T-junction when he was trying to cross the road.

No joke.

**********

Congratulations, you are still reading this piece. For your patience I shall reward you with a little experiment I did.

Problem Statement : Will security guards wave back to any hand signs?
Hypothesis : If I show him my finger, he will show me his.

Conclusion : Security Guards are awesome.

**********

P.S. I did not actually use the finger, especially not in front of such an innocent little girl. Thank you Jolene for helping me record this. I hope you see this when you're a little more computer savvy so that you know why I asked you to do it.
Also, I'd like to say that security guards aren't as incompetent as how I may have pointed out. There is proof of how gallant and brave security guards are, it's just that I don't see anything like that here in Malaysia. Heck, there is even a movie about a security guard.

Happy Birthday Malaysia

2009-08-24T06:40:00.000-07:00

Ouch.

What the ****

2009-08-17T23:09:00.000-07:00

Pardon me for the vulgarity.

Picture me in an Afro. Oh wait, you don't have to! It's the emblem for this blog. B U T , just in case I decide to change it and no longer be able to locate the picture.

Cool Do~ Bro!

For convenience purposes

Just when I thought that this picture alone is a piece of work, someone else with an even greater amount of time on their hands decides to tamper with it. I guess this is what post-A-levels is all about. Credit belongs entirely to Wen Zong for his ingenuity and half-witted pranks.

Stalker much?

To be honest, when I first saw this atrocious picture I was furious and enraged. The fact that you edited one of my pictures without my permission and tagged me on Facebook. Hence, publicizing it.

Yeah, it came as a surprise. An unpleasant surprise.

Fortunately, a picture of Yuri was inserted into the mix so I guess all is forgiven.

*********************

Come to think of it, the edited picture could have turned out a lot worse.

I could have shared a fate similar to Ronald here.

P.S. Wen Zong, I can appreciate that you picked me out every single one of your friends to edit a picture but I sincerely hope that this does not become a habit. Here's a suggestion, why not edit Jia Ming? With that senile smile of his, I'm certain it has the potential to be your next great masterpiece. Just leave my pictures alone k?

Re : The Epic Fried Chicken Pilgrimage

2009-08-06T10:22:00.000-07:00

To fully grasp the splendor that is Fried Chicken, check out The Epic Fried Chicken Pilgrimage first.

Even the most sophisticated and erudite of Malaysians succumb to the awesome-ness that is Fried Chicken. The Best Fried Chicken in Klang, has always been the heated topic among others. But it's no secret that I've always thought the best ones originate from the immaculate stall of Klang Jaya. Located at the corner of the dark street, to be contingent on the light of a mere street lamp, and the view of strays feeding on the scraps dropped by the compassionate customers. Ah, nothing beats the ambience and atmosphere of this small but legendary stall.

The Fool's Gold

Memories, incomparable to any other excursions were made. The very wise words of a friend still streams into my head as I reminisce of the epic fried chicken.

Oil (From fried chicken) + Ice Water + Teck Juan (the clown)

= Chest Pain

Even the unconventional chicken parts are up for grabs. Most people may find it revolting, Seng Aun and I indulge in this fried delicacy every trip there. Which part am I referring to?

Go figure.

And Seng Aun knows no limit when it comes to these tantalizing, bite-size and mouth-watering treats. He once had 7 sticks, totaling up to 35 pieces! It was actually 34, but kudos to him for finishing it. I'm still at awe by this feat.

*****************

Admire, Respect, Worship.

Fried Chicken is venerated in all parts of the world. Heck, everyone loooOOooooves fried chicken.

Even the President of the United States is no exception

Women all over have been abusing fried chicken to fulfill their needs. The phrase, 'The way to a man's heart is through his stomach' was made famous by the women. Okay, I may be exaggerating.

But she definitely made it through to mine!

In recapitulation, if you wanna live till 30, up your intake of fried chicken and give me a call. We can plan our funerals together.

Hungry yet?

MILF

2009-07-26T11:12:00.001-07:00

To: Ng Seng Aun

6 long and memorable years. Through thick and thin, the ups and the downs, heck we've even been on luxurious excursions and no-frill expeditions. I know it is 10 days too late, but Happy Birthday.

I know 10 days is a long time, but cheer up! I've got more to say.

Hanging out has never been more exhilarating! Your presence always gives that extra "Umph" during our outings because of that odd and eccentric behaviour that you exude. It could be caused by the LOA – Lack of attention (I still recall you created this abbreviation) around others. It could just be how you operate.

Personally, I think it's caused by all that chilli sauce you drink.

Coming up with topics of discussion comes easy with you around. I've once said that you're a "Weird-Magnet" and the paranormal events that happen around you seem to become the stepping stones to a great bundle of laughs. I still recall of the story you told me not too long ago. The theft of your hand phone was certainly an entertaining one. I'll never know why you seem to attract all the awe-inspiring people you meet.

Maybe it's the first impressions.

Then again, maybe it isn't.

In spite of what a queer and flaky personality you have, you portray many positive qualities as well.

Like the way you choose to see the glass half full.

And be a saint to others.

And even being a real sport and giving others a hug.

***************************

We've shared so many memories together. I cherish each and every one of them.

Like the time I got you milk powder for your birthday so that you could grow.

And the time you wore your shirt inside out for half a day. If I hadn't noticed it sooner, it would've made it through to a full day.

But the best memory I have of us has to be

The first ever, Night of Debauchery.

***************************

We have always seen eye to eye and our fair share of discrepancies, like the Chinese tea cup Rule. But ultimately, you're one of my best friends and there is no one I would rather spend time with than with you.

Now, let's see that epic smile of yours one last time.

Nope, not this one.

Not this one either.

That's the one!

Happy 19th Birthday Milf.

Don't think I've forgotten

2009-07-05T02:35:00.000-07:00

Har! Time to die idiots.

A while back, we had a class trip to the beautiful island of Redang. I dared, no - challenged these few men - the self proclaimed bachelors, to do what bachelors all over the world have been doing for years. Pickup lines.

Pickup lines. The most basic of all flirting techniques. The most important tool in the flirting arsenal as it serves as the initiator, and like the old saying from a-show-whose-name-I-don't-recall-at-the-moment, 'Half of the job is starting the conversation'.

And so, Bachelors! Time to face the music for chicken-ing out on me.

Bachelor #1

Chew Jung Hao.
He can actually be excused from this since his girlfriend tagged along but hey, I already uploaded it.

Bachelor #2

Chung Wen Zong.
For all that it's worth, you look really gay =)

Bachelor #3

Adel Hakim. I know, awesome name right?
Real men love milk. Real men love audacity too.

Bachelor #4

Saw Chee Koon.
Pucker up, pretty boy.

Bachelor #5

Ng Kah Kit.
Your best pickup line would be, "(Use middle finger to call someone over then say) I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand".

Bachelor #6

Larry Wong.
So let me get this straight. You would rather have this picture up on my blog, than use a pickup line. Not one of your wisest decision, my comrade.

Bachelor #7

Liew Jia Ming.
And of course! Who could forget that senile smile of yours? That ridiculous base you call your voice. And that feminine bullshit you pull in every picture taken =)

Imagine that I'm saying this in an Indian accent.

For you special Jia Ming. Got 2 peek-chas. Because you very fat chicken eh!

P.S. Just like you have Abby against me, I've got this shit on you. I'd like to think of it as fair trade. So don't judge me.
And no offense to the Indians concerning the Indian accent, I just thought it would sound cooler like that.

Damn, I've got one bad-ass mouth.

Teachers

2009-07-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

One whose business or occupation is to instruct others. Even if it means serving it up, Terminator style.

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I've been teaching for a solid 2 weeks now and I must say, teaching is not easy. Everyone has that mindset that teaching requires no effort and that it could be done at a whim. My brain was also preset to this perception but I soon found out that I was sadly mistaken. But albeit the workload, 2 weeks of teaching elapsed and I'm beginning to fathom why teaching is some times referred as 'The Best Job In The World'.

Last Wednesday, I was going through a summary question with my students when I overheard one boy saying 'Fuck you la' to another boy. As an English teacher, I've told myself that there will be no vulgarity in my classroom. SO, I decided to teach the class other ways of saying it.

Before I began, I decided to give my students a chance to portray their colorful vocabulary.

"Guys, can anyone tell me another word that can replace Fuck?"

Sexual Intercourse, teacher.
Mating, teacher.
Getting laid, teacher.

"I was thinking more to the context of fornicate and copulate but I guess that's also valid"

Everyone was excited from how open-minded I was. I felt pretty good at the moment. I had finally been able to sync in with my student's frequency. We began discussing about the words openly towards each other.

As the lesson went on, I inadvertently missed out a point on the summary. Everyone was like

Aiyo teacher! What is this?

"Sorry sorry guys. Must have slipped past me."

I felt foolish. As a teacher, I shouldn't have overlooked that. And right then, one guy went on and said

Eh teacher, mate you.

Though he meant bad, it evidently made my day.

The thumbdrive

2009-06-27T10:28:00.000-07:00

A few weeks back, I was at the Taylors Library studying for my maths exam. Adel found a thumbdrive which was still inserted into the USB port of a computer he was using.

Adel immediately came into the scene before I could conjure up anything mischievous. He started throwing moral values, ethics, and it wouldn't be right speeches. Reinforced by Jia Ming who was beside him, spouting plausible cases and incorrigible truths. I started to succumb to them when a thought came through my head.

"It could be a chick's thumbdrive"

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I immediately unplugged the thumbdrive and stuck it into my own. Minutes elapsed and I learned a few things..

1. Indian
- The music folder was filled with ancient Hindi songs that would subject you into a comma too.

2. Organized
- Assignments were all done, organized neatly by title and subject

3. Vision
- A folder filled with pictures of scenery of the sunset and oceans.

4. Carelessness
- The forgotten thumbdrive

5. A dude
- The name of the thumbdrive.

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My hopes, mutilated in mere minutes. So I did the next sane thing any sane guy would do.

10 reasons why you shouldn't leave your thumbdrive around in the Taylors Library.

1. Theft, obvious eh?
2. Because you CAN leave it around the library
3. Invasion of privacy, You've got good taste in music my man!
4. It might be infected with a virus and is spreading as we speak...... Wooooo....
5. Someone might store porn here and when you get home, SOMEONE GONNA GET A HURT REAL BAD.
6. Pictures of you might be copied and edited, WHICH I DID NOT DO
7. Because if you were a girl, I would have a new facebook profile picture.
8. Because your thumbdrive might be infected with h1n1
9. Plagiarism is a bad, bad thing. You wouldn't want all your work to be labeled as 'Plagiarized work'?
10. Because some douche might access into your thumbdrive and save a notepad file on it entitled '10 reasons why you shouldn't leave your thumbdrive around in the Taylors Library.'

Note : I'm sorry for the intrusion of your thumbdrive, but then again, now I'm not.

- Sher

Oh, and if you're reading this. I didn't mean what I said about point 3. Get some MJ songs, it's way hotter now than it ever was.

Streamyx

2009-06-25T09:10:00.000-07:00

Streamyx,

The first local broadband internet service and also known for its lousy sporadic connections. I'm back to using my Celcom 3G connection, which I won't kvetch about anymore.

Calling up the Streamyx's customer service to complain about it's poor connection is a waste of time. I overheard my Dad having a conversation with one of them and to my surprise it resembled to one of the shows I watched recently. What a coincidence.

Part 1

Part 2

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CyJB91LRxfA (embed was disabled)

And I saw this blog post floating around which I found to be very interesting.

http://www.haanism.com/2008/09/streamyx-refund.html

I'm running out of material. Yikez.

Exams

2009-06-15T10:27:00.001-07:00

Peek-Cha

Booo, Exams.

Time spent studying all day, burning the midnight oil on certain papers even, just to score average for a test that shapes your very future.

Most of you from Monash are having exams at the moment, so I thought I show you something that might have been helpful.

I saw this on a bookshelf at a book sale in Tesco, Setia Alam. What was truly amazing was that its chapters actually suit to the different situations one might come upon.

Andrew, all that talk about trying luck tomorrow. LOL

Haha

2009-06-13T10:04:00.000-07:00

Jokes, dirty jokes. Sabrina you can skip this post, I know you're not allowed to read them.

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Kissing's a pleasure

Fucking's a game

Guys get all the pleasure

Girls get all the pain

He says he loves you, and you believe it's true

Until your belly starts to swell and he says hell with you.

10 minutes of pleasure, 9 months and pain

3 days in hospital, a child without a name

The baby's a bastard

The mother's a whore

This never would have happened if the rubber hadn't tore

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3 guys get pulled over by a woman cop.

They tried to get out of the speeding ticket, so the woman said if all ur dicks equal up to 15 inches ill let you off.

The driver pulls out his dick which is 7 inches.

The guy in the front of the passenger seat pulls his out which is 6 inches.

The last guy in the back pulls his out and it's 2 inches.

So they get out of the ticket.

After a while they hear the guy laughing hysterically in the back.

The driver asks, "What's wrong why are you laughing?" the guy in back says good thing I was popping a boner.

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One day there was this man that went to a beach completely naked even though the beach was a non-nude beach.

But the man thought and thought looking around. Nobody is here so he doesn't care. He takes off his towel and lays down with a newspaper to cover his privates just in case.

Soon comes a little girl that asks "Sir, what's under the newspaper?"

The man replies with "it's a birdy and never ever touch it."

He soon falls asleep.

Later on when he wakes up, he's in the hospital feeling immense pain around his private area. The doctors ask what happened and all he could remember was the girl at the beach.

Later on the cops arrive at her house asking what she had done. She said "well I was playing with the birdy but then it spit this white stuff at me. I got really mad. So I broke it's neck, stepped on it's eggs, and burned it's nest."

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One night these two midget brothers walk into a bar and one says "Man I'm tired of screwing midget girls lets screw real women." So the other guy agreed.

5 minutes later two blonde's walk into the bar and sit by the two midgets.

So the four of them get talking and the midgets ask if they want to come to there hotel rooms and stay the night and have sex.

So the two blonde's decide to go.

In the first room the blonde and the midget were getting it on when the midget says "Oh baby, I'm sorry this has never happened before, but I can't get hard"

So they give up and lay down to go asleep. But through the wall from the second room they hear "1, 2, 3 uh 1, 2, 3 uh", which keeps up all night long.

So the next day after the blonde's leave the brothers meet each other again and discuss how there night went.

The first midget says "Oh, my night was terrible. I just couldn't get hard."

The second midget replies "Mine was worse than that"

"What do you mean" said the first guy. "I heard you going "1, 2, 3 uh all night long".

To which the second guy replies "Yeah! I couldn't get on the damn bed"

Spot the difference

2009-06-11T05:56:00.000-07:00

Picture A

Picture B

LOL @ Julie! Or should I say, Linda.

Chicken

2009-06-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

Random

I can consume one packet of creamer as it is. Dare me, I'll do it.

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Few weeks back, 'it' appeared. All I could do was watch as it terrorized the room. It made noises, hissing sounds that shook me up badly. I was never the same after that incident.

Zoom in. It's equivalent to my N82.

I nearly died. No joke guys.

Work

2009-06-08T06:45:00.000-07:00

Peek-cha

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A-levels is over. Hooray. B U T , I'll be furthering my studies to Australia. And the next intake is in February. So?

"Work la"

I went for an interview to apply for a job at Jung Hao's tuition center, better known as TTC. So for the next 6 months, you may address me as 'Sir' because I'm their newest recruit!

As exciting as this sounds, I somehow am not.

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Back in the day, I had some really cool teachers, and some real duds. They were either lazy, boring, obnoxious, or arrogant. I still recall my favorite class teacher who couldn't be bothered to teach. She uses such a convincing line all the time, that I still remember it till today.

"Aiya, you all very smart already right? All go for tuition for Physics. So I don't need to explain this chapter in detail"

B U T , I still thank you for all the wonderful experiences Mrs. Sithira. Like threatening to call Yindran's father every time noise erupts from our class. Or threatening to call the ASP or BPP or something (whose name I cannot remember at the moment) every time someone was missing from class. They are a body that catches delinquents playing truant. Patrolling round the housing areas, in search of the alleged 'kaki ponteng'.

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Tomorrow, I shall start my first lesson. They say that the first time is always the hardest. B U T , my situation demands a whole new word. Like how anxious is anxiety, nervous is Nervisity.

'I am in a state of total Nervisity!'

It is part of protocol to have at least one session of 'teaching training' prior to the first lesson.
B U T , when has protocol ever applied to me. It would seem to them that I am good at teaching, and that training isn't something I need to go through. So now, I have to march into that classroom tomorrow with nothing more than a smile and a heart full of hope. Yay me.

I was assigned to the English Department, due to my failure to flaunt my mother's immaculate career in teaching. A prestigious English lecturer at a Teachers Training Institute in KL. So it's obvious I can't argue to be transferred to any other department. B U T , why would I want to transfer out when I have such a considerable paragon to seek guidance from?

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I received this in an e-mail forwarded to me by Seng Aun, and this would be the explanation to my worries of the situation.

In a word, If you're going for a tuition class for a certain subject, chances are you need help at it. What frightens me is if a completely redundant student were to step into the class, I'll be wishing I had brought in more red pens and a jar of paracetamol to pop.

I'm screwed tomorrow.

I'm 100% Girly

2009-06-07T11:30:00.000-07:00

asdf

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Short post today, as I've got to study for my Final paper, literally.

Hope you enjoyed this, I know I certainly did.

Random Pictures

2009-06-06T07:01:00.000-07:00

Yay! The first picture post

I know you'll love this last one, Hiap.

Damn you Monkey.

Why guys aren't romantic

2009-06-04T21:30:00.000-07:00

Men.

We stand for all the arm-wrestling, meat-eating, bull-fighting, beer-drinking, and sex-craving that exists in this world. And to add romantically-gifted into the list? Well that would be too much to ask from the average Joe. B U T , don't get me wrong, men can be very romantic, and at times better than the woman but the reason why we aren't romantic (according to women) is the woman herself.

Some would disagree almost immediately after reading the 2nd paragraph, but please, allow me to elaborate myself.

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Based on a 5 minute survey I did, I got three lovely young ladies to utter their definition of the word 'romantic'

1. Sweet and horny. *cough*jo*lynn*
2. Waiting for the sunrise at the beach. Miss " anonymous " ZC
3. Flowers. Yee Thien

The latter might paint a picture everyone is more familiar with but there is a missing element. This element in which women tend to leave out is the period.

The period you say?

At the birth of a relationship, feelings are still raw and wild. Confusion, lust, and serenity all at the same time. A mutual portrayal of feelings, (kissing, posting-on-each-others-facebook-wall-until-it-floods-the-whole-page-and-causes-annoyance-to-some-people, etc.) to one another would perhaps be the only thing that matters in a relationship nowadays.
B U T , 4 maybe 5 years into the relationship, things turn sour. The boyfriend would rather be hanging out at a mamak watching soccer with his buddies than spend time with his mate, and the girl would rather be off in a shopping mall, sippingcoffee-chitchating-gloatingabouthowniceandwonderfultheguyhasbeentoherwhenthenicestthinghedidrecentlyistapaomamak with her girlfriends. Couples tend to grow apart, and what spices up the relationship is romance.

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In general, Romance = Flowers.

Buying your girl flowers every now and again is thoughtful, and most definitely fruitful for the relationship. But when the flowers stop appearing due to hectic schedules or inability to remember to buy them, she'll get upset and get all E.M.O and somehow rage follows after. Rage builds, and builds and imminently, she explodes and throws a fit. The guy then apologizes and promises that things will change from now onwards and flowers will be seen at every corner of the room etc. B U T , this statement is only valid for the first few months upon outbreak. The whole ordeal catapults in your face all over again this time with the added capitalization on how you are now a liar.

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As aforementioned earlier, some guys can be truly creative like planning out a whole evening of the things that she loves to do most. Or leaving a note saying 'I love you' on the sink on the morning of Valentines. Or maybe even pretending to ask for help from you to buy some jewelery for his mother, when he actually rented out the whole store and a ring in the middle of the room on a glittering pedestal with a tag attached to it that says "Marry me XXXX". I'd say, "That is stupendous and down right awesome! Nothing could top that! Nothing ever will!" And nothing ever will...

So for a guy to go through all that trouble the first time would only mean that he has to do it a 2nd, a 3rd and a 4th
B U T nothing ever seems to be as good or surpass the first one. Women are probably saying "Haiyo, we're not that greedy okay?" B U T , in spite of what you may say, the truth still remains that you do crave for more of his benevolent romance.

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Not all women are like that though, some are more understanding than others. B U T that doesn't mean they do not want to be lavished by a bed of roses now and again. Women are complex beings and as such have special needs to fulfill and that all men should pay attention to. B U T , this doesn't imply that women should go around expressing those needs all the time. Ladies, please be more understanding towards your man and gentlemen, I'm here if you need help.

Mind Orgasm

2009-06-04T21:21:00.000-07:00

Woon showed this to me recently. Does it work? According to him it does.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=1650400839213702733

And Zee Ching, I'm sorry I didn't warn you. =)

Clandestine Touch

2009-06-04T09:27:00.000-07:00

Apologies for the hiatus. A levels demands more of your time and you'll be quick to realize if you don't dedicate your time to it, you'll most probably flunk out.

"Fang Yi - your life or alevels, you can only have one of them."

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A new blog, Why? No, not because I can but because of the name. A new chapter of my life deserves a new one. That and the fact that clandestinetouch is no way for a man to portray himself.

I don't like chatboxes. So don't ask me to put one. Why? It's because people can no longer keep track of the comments prior to the post. I believe that a blog is where treasure memories are immortalized and comments shouldn't be left out too.

So, no course means no work. No work means plenty of time. And plenty of time means plenty of updates.

And Adel know this. It's because of you that I bother.